Holy mother of…. Japan pisses me off sooooo much sometimes. I go into a laundromat to dry clean my shirts. DRY CLEAN only shirts. they are those Express bought kinda expensive tight dress shirts… made of Lycra and Cotton (stretch mesh). YOU CANNOT WASH them… cause if you do… they shrink… a lot. so… I tell the lady … DO NOT WASH THESE SHIRTS! I WANT THEM DRYCLEAN ONLY! she looks at me and goes
“i am sorry… but we cannot choose. The company we send it to… decides based on the material its made of….”
I knew this. I was not surprised. so i took one of the shirts… and right in front of her… ripped the tag off. and asked… “what material do you think it is and how will they clean it?” She was kind of uncomfortable… but said… it feels like cotton… so probably they will wash it. so… i insisted… “Look… if you get it wet… it will shrink… then it wont fit me … I am a big boy… i need my shirts… because i can only get these shirts from america. PLEASE DO NOT USE WATER!”
“but… we cannot choose….”
“Lady… i am THIS close to sexually harassing you if you touch my shirt with water!” ( this part was in english…. back to japanese now) ” i am sorry… is there a way i could dry clean these only? It is very important that they be dry-clean only… or is there another store i could go to around here?”
That made her perk up… and she called her manager… and after 15 minutes of debating with her boss… her friends… and a few of her coworkers… she finally agreed to put a tag on saying only dry-clean. again… 15 minutes! to do what the customer wants and is paying for!!!!!
The thing is… this is normal in japan. See… while i was in college… i heard magical stories about how polite the japanese are. and how their way is so incredibly service oriented. iF YOU COME TO JAPAN… MAGICAL FAIRY DUST WILL SPRINKLE ON YOUR EYE-LASHES EVERYWHERE YOU GO… what a krok. To be honest… the first 5 months i was here… i did think that. cause they are polite. beyond imagination. A friend of mine was on Northwest airlines… and some old geezer was walking through the aisles waking the sleeping poor customers as he was screaming… WATER! WATER! ANYONE WANT WATER!?!?! On Japan Airlines… they would politely stand next to you for a few seconds… make eye contact… bow… and motion for you to take a glass. if you dont want it… they go to the next person. All respectful of the sleeping people. The thing that they dont talk about is when you have a problem. see… Japanese hold things in. they dont complain. so they dont have ways to deal with problems. cause they dont come up. if the store makes a mistak… its probably my fault too (that’s their mentality). There is no “customer is always right”. They say it… they have a term that translates into “customer is god”… but they NEVER listen to it. they follow what their procedure book says… and never waver. Take Ice cream. I wanted the prune flavored ice cream (its good). but… each ice cream was labeled with a number… 1 ) vanilla with choco sprinkles. 2) choco with vanilla sprinkles. 3) prune ice cream 4) prune with choco sprinkles… and so on…. all the way to 40. 40 combinations of vanilla, chocolate, prune, sprinkles, and cream. HOWEVER>>>>>>. i wanted PRUNE with STRAWBERRY CREAM !!!! – NOT ONE OF THE NUMBERS! JUST PUT SOME STRAWBERRY CREAM ON THE SUCKER FOR PETE’S SAKE! CHARGE ME A LITTLE EXTRA… I DONT KNOW… YOU MAKE IT UP… OR GIVE IT FOR FREE… ITS JUST A TEASPOON OF THAT GALLON YOU GOT THERE!
BUT…alas… no. first… they check their handbook of combinations. not listed. I say i really want it. They say “the book doesnt say its a good flavor… so maybe you shouldn’t”…. ok… “i will take my chances… please can i have some… i will pay for it” —- they call the manager at home. He says he doesnt know what to do….. they call 5 ice cream shops nearby to see if they have tried this combination. after 10 minutes… they give it to me. with a trembling hand. now… most of you might say… “why dont you just give up and not bug them!?!?!?” well… a few reasons…
1) its not the way i am. i cant just give up. I tend to be very aggressive in what i want.
2) Embarrassingly… I get a small kick out of seeing people squirm.
3) Prune ice cream with strawberry cream is sooooo yummy.
Mind you… i wasnt there while they were squirming. After a minute of telling them i want it. I went shopping… and came back. why shoudl i also squirm. This is japanese way. not mine. when a japanese person comes to my country… and gets uncomfortable… do i make him sit around and force him to pay attention to me? no. he can leave. so same example. why do i have to stress? let them stress. if they said no when i came back… i would probably say something insulting and move on. Again… keep in mind.. this is a DAILY thing here. EVERYSINGLE step i take… someone gets in my way saying – sorry… thats not the way we do it….
Granted… they are very veryveryveryvery polite. i am using american slang and colloquialism… but they truly are polite and humble people. but the result is they frown on deviation from the proven method of doing something. in any terms. big no no. there are very few options. Get used to it and accept. Or… leave. i cant get used to it… cause its not me. nor will i leave… cause overall… i like my life here…. I truly enjoy terrorizing the locals. so… i choose another way. my way. Walk forward. Dedicated and true to myself. Be patient with myself. Understand others are different… but have confidence in myself. Thus… I try their way once. if i dont like it… i go back to my way. at this point… i have gotten good at making them comply with my methods. what you are reading… is the few times… when i get frustrated and tired with trying….