Whew… crazy weekend…
Too much of a lot of stuff…. too much partying… too much happening… too much “weekend” work… too much gym… too much sleep… too much drinking… too much of too much….
Excess… well… the problem with it is that eventually you crash… what goes up must come down…
So what makes people go into these modes of Excess? i think it has to do with personal demons we run away from…
I know i’m still running away from stuff…
I mean… stuff with my ex… that’s obviously haunting me… understandably so….
there’s not much that can be done about it though… i mean… you have to live your life regardless… It’s not like i need any more time to “mourn” or feel the “loss”… i’m done with that a while ago….
I’ve heard people mention “oh you’re not ready to do this yet… ” or that… or whatnot. Well… if i followed the rule that i should wait till i’m COMPLETELY over… well then i’d NEVER be able to do anything.
You know why?
Cause I still miss ALL my exes. I still miss my ex from 12 FRIGGIN YEARS AGO!!! I don’t mean just an occasional thought… no… i miss her daily. I don’t contact her, nor am i stupid/psycho/foolish enough to think ANYTHING… .just i miss our relationship… the way we were blah blah blah…
same with the ex after her
same with the ex after her
same with the ex after her
It has NOTHING to do with them. It’s the way i am. Ghosts of past haunt me.
these ghosts… should i let them ruin my life? of course not… so… i just live with them… let them hang around… and accept them….
if there was a more practical solution… i’d be willing to hear it… i just think coming to terms with our own demons and accepting who we are… regardless of flaws… is a much more useful discipline as opposed to forcing ourselves to forget and bottling things up…
I wonder if my ghosts are haunted by me?