I saw this on a social media post – and people thought this is funny and dumb. but I think it’s sweet and loving.
imagine being scared… yeah sure drunk dumbass. but fear is fear. being scared… and in your last moments… the only think you can think of is to tell your family you love them.
why does this make me feel moved? because my dad was an amazing man. he was nearly 7′ and 300 lbs. a behemoth of a man. he was warm, loving… kind… did everything for those around him. when he smiled, as big as he was, and how he lumbered around the house shaking the walls… when he smiled… man it just warmed up everyone. You know who smiles like him? Chow Yun-fat. watch some of his older movies where he smiles. THAT’S how my dad smiled. (he was a white Hungarian man). he always put others before himself. In romania when I was a kid and got attacked by a bear… he carried a log full sprint into the bear, then made a giant ruckus to get the bear to leave me alone. yeah he was scared shitless. literally. he shit himself in that encounter. but he did it anyway. When we moved to america, he carried me on his shoulders so much, despite his back hurting… when we’d walk the streets of Queens Nyc. the whole fucking day. we were broke that time…. and he STILL gave his money to homeless he saw. food? he’d share it with others. I tell ya… he was my superman.
then, in 2000, when I was barely 17…. he was diagnosed with a brain tumor. a VERY VERY aggressive one. he spent 3 months…. going from that superman behemoth of a man…. to a 90lb withered skeleton that couldn’t move in bed. I watched him silently gasp for air for weeks. I watched the tears rolling down his eyes in the middle of the night….
in the final moments… I knew it was coming… he couldn’t squeeze my hand anymore. I started panicking. I looked into his eyes…. what I saw horrified and traumatizes me to this day. He was praying…. pleading… begging god. for what? to take someone else. he was uttering under his breath… people that wronged him…. that used him… and begging god to punish them… not him. I kept telling him I’m here… be with me… but he didn’t care… he turned away… and kept praying. until he fell silent. His dying breaths…. were not for his loving son… not for the family that idolized him. it was the breath of shadows plagued by pain and torment… fear. in his dying breath… for once… he was selfish… and he forgot all about his kids.
so yeah. to see a father… afraid… wishing to tell his kids he loved him. this fucking made me cry