Great discussion on Abuse/Trauma and survival. This might be about a video game, but it does express some concepts that society and the media often forgets to cover about abuse.
The harm doesn’t end when physical/psych abuse stops. And usually we are NOT ok. it’s never “fine”… and people don’t just turn out ok. You learn to carry the trauma and LIVE with it for the rest of your life. it’s not something you just “get over” and has NOTHING to do with how strong you are. Abusive relationships are complicated. they are often a 2-way street, and often involving parties that are catalysts for each other. It’s not as easy as “just getting out”.
as someone thats been both abusive, and abused….. there’s 2 reasons i keep to memories of both positive/negative experiences. on one hand, i like to feel the nostalgia for good memories… but same time, it’s important that i can stare into the abyss of where i came from, face the demons inside myself, and be reminded what i did. to hold me accountable to myself, and to not slip back into those patterns.
You do the work, you break free, move forward… but you are NOT ok… and THAT’S ok.