Would you prefer to have your daughter be a soldier on the front lines, or a prostitute?
This question was the essence of what i pondered on this past weekend. My mother was in many ways dependent on men, and often had to resort to selling herself or using her body and image and looks to get men provide for us. She was quite beautiful. I grew up in an environment where women often sold their bodies. My first wife, also worked in adult industry and sold sex and her image for money. Prostitution would be the most direct term…. though you may be inclined to look up details of what a hostess or fuzoku or health bar is in japan. as there are nuances… but let’s go with prostitution.
I was out with friends, and as usual, when the topic of my relationships come up… my first marriage and what she did is brought up. as is expected, i’m often met with disgust, and many people often look at my choice to be with her… or her reasoning for doing what she did… as crazy, disgusting, repulsive, and all manner of sinful reactions are mentioned. the biggest gripe anyone has… is 1) she didn’t NEED the money. she wasn’t starving…. she came from a middle class family, with loving parents. she simply wanted money the quickest way possible. she didn’t value sex as something “sacred” and she had no issues with using it to get what she wanted… which she valued an image she wanted to present to escape the world she lived in… that of a french mistress. and 2)… how in the world could i be OK with this???
Honestly, i’ve found debating this topic is folly… as the essence is, i just didn’t care. i did’t find it to be an issue, and i shared her view on what sex is and how to value oneself. unfortunately, explaining this… never results in acceptance. so i usually just ignore the topic, let people rant, state that i disagree, and simply say i don’t see things the same way. this is usually resulting in a cold, awkward…. silence. two immovable rocks with opposing views. this REALLY sucks on a first date when it happens. and yes it happens a lot.
So, i got to thinking… why am i ok with it?
Essentially, I don’t value the body the same way. selling one’s body… to me… does NOT relate to disrespecting or not respecting oneself… just as much as eating a chocolate has nothing to do with loving oneself as much as simply another preference and decision.
the argument that’s always brought up.. is what if my daughter wanted to do this?
well, the truth is… i’m ok with the idea of my daughter exchanging her body for money. at the root of it. I’m not religious, and i don’t believe it’s a sin or any of the typical negative views on it. a person’s body is theirs to do as they please. HOWEVER, that doesn’t mean i would openly embrace her decision. See, the fear that i have… is disease…illness… conditions of her lifestyle… that a crazy customer will rape, murder, violate her. that i’ll end up with a broken daughter… THAT scares me. the impact it will have on her psyche. THAT scares me. but, just her selling sex for money? no. that ‘s not a problem… if it could be done safely.
But i’ll tell you something else… if my daughter came to me (this supposed hypothetical daughter)…. and asked “dad, I can either enlist in the military and go to war… or be a whore…. ” i would likely prefer she be a whore. even with the fears of disease and violence… i think she’d be safer… than getting shot at in a 3rd world country.
Most Strippers, prostitutes have some odd priorities and are often a bit “deranged” to do something that puts them in these conditions to get money quickly with minimal work… but… soldiers… who risk their lives… for a pursuit that’s none of their business…. entering another nation… shooting others… getting shot at themselves… is just foolish. i don’t value “patriotic” duty much… and i honestly don’t see the benefits of my supposed daughter getting shot at for country. so yeah… go sell your body.
obviously the other concern is the legality of it… but that’s another topic. at the end of the day… i’d have a long talk with her about whats’ making her do this… what’s wrong … why she’s going down this path and the dangers… but… yeah… between a soldier, a police officer, and a whore… i’d rather my daughter be a whore. at least this way, i’d at least … have my daughter tomorrow.
then again… i don’t have kids. maybe things will change. that’s also a valid point. but this… is the best i could come up with under the current experiences i’ve had to explain why i’m not so opposed or disgusted by what my ex wife did.