I’m ok with not really seeing each other… I’ve been through all kinds of situations where I’m somehow caring for another person. Blind, married, partner, friends, group partner, sharing, cheating, love, last moments of life, long distance, age differences…. I am ok and have learned to accept all situations… Even this one.
Today I asked if I could come by before her work started…. Her reply was essentially “hanging out with family, but yeah will try….”. It’s a fair response…
So why am I riled up? Well… The reason I asked… Was because SHE asked me come by today before work…. This occurred three days ago. Her life is very turbulent these days…. And I get that it creates uncertainty and due to all the excitement it’s easy to forget and neglect something that was said in happenstance…..
But, damn… I care for her… I’m worried about her… I’m making efforts to be there for her in these hard times…. BECAUSE I want to see her happy moments too!!! I want to be there for the good and bad times…. I want to see her smile….
Today I think she’s having a good day… So I should Not burden her… But I feel cast aside…. When her hardships come…. She calls me… And when the good times come… I feel excluded and forgotten….
I do expect she cancels a lot. I do too. It happens. But acknowledge that we talked about this… Acknowledge my feelings….. Recognize that I was looking forward to her smile and seeing her beautiful eyes…. I’m not here to be her councilor….
True… NO official plan was made. So again, not something done on purpose… But to feel that no effort was made to include me in her first happy day in weeks….. Makes me feel abandoned… Forgotten. And I’m not good with being abandoned….
I know how to handle this in the future… easy enough… just follow up prior to the day… not everyone writes things down in a calendar like i do… but this situation hurts more because it’s not cancelling… it’s more like… a parent who’s working and busy… tells a kid they will join the soccer game…. and come game day… the parent doesn’t remember what they said… just goes about their day .. not even remembering the hope they had given that kid ….